Answering the Call of Nature

At 5am this morning, I had to poop.

Really, really, really poop. The kind of poop that just won’t wait for ANYTHING. Normally I wake mom up around 6am for pooping, so while I realized that this was a bit earlier than usual, I HAD TO POOP.

So I went about the usual methods of waking mom up – licking her face, dropping the evil paw on her head, jumping on top of her to try to get to dad who might take pity on my plight and get up first, and even barking – to no avail. I knew it was time for drastic measures.

Mom installed bells on the front door knob for me to ring whenever I needed to go out. These were really helpful when I was being housetrained, as I quickly learned that giving a quick nose to the bells made the humans come running. Have I abused that knowledge in the past year? Well I suppose I’d first have to know what you would consider abuse. Yes, I use it on a regular basis, sometimes for the simple “I feel like going outside now”, sometimes for the more complex “oh are you busy, I thought it might be a good time to sneak in a pee”, occasionally for the “damn it I just wanna go and test your training skills by running in the opposite direction the minute that gate is open”, and most importantly for the “I GOTTA POOP NOW”.

So in true Airedale spirit, not only did I ring the bells but I body-slammed the front door. That got mom’s attention! She got up pretty darn fast and got her sneakers on without my assistance (usually I help her with this, I’m very good at untying shoelaces and love to feel that I’m being helpful) and we ran outside, top speed, down the street to the park. No stopping for sniffing, I had a job to do!

Now the reason that mom didn’t want to get up was that it was still dark outside. The park isn’t safe when it’s not light so I don’t usually get to go there at night or this early in the morning. But this morning was a special case if ever there was one. I went barreling down the street, mom in tow running behind me, toward the park. There would be nothing that would stop me getting to my pooping place, not human, nor animal, nor natural disaster, so up we ran and mom – in one fell swoop – unclipped my leash and I ran a few feet into the park and immediately POOPED. Ah…..

No need for a regular morning walk, even I felt weird about being in the park in the dark. After an emptying of my bladder, we walked quickly around and back home. I had a new spring in my step that mom noticed, jauntily running back home now that I had answered natures call.

Whew!

Love,

Bogart